I'm about to get random. Stick with me.
I went to get a veggie wrap for lunch recently. I was standing at the counter telling the sever what to put on it, when this guy walks up. White guy, not that it matters. But he had a sandwich that someone had taken a bite out of at which time it was realized that the sandwich didn't have the avocado it was supposed to have. The guy had come back to the counter to get the previously requested avocado put in the sandwich.
The sever agreed to put the avocado in, but he told the guy he would charge him a dollar more for the avocado. He stopped making my sandwich to say this. The guy argued (vaidly, I thought) that he should not be charged because "She," whoever she was, had ordered avocado and it wasn't put in. And as the customer, he was inconvenienced by having to come back and get it.
They went back and forth a couple times. The server adamantly argued the guy had to pay; the guy argued adamantly that he shouldn't have to because "She'd" ordered it and the server messed up the order. After a couple rounds, the guy finally said he would pay even though he shouldn't have to (clearly this was about the principle.) Either way the avocado was being put on the sandwich during all of this.
Now, on a good day, I would have cut all the convo short somewhere around the time the server stopped making my sandwich to address this dude's concerns. I would have insisted my sandwich be finished first before attending to this next dude. But I wanted to watch the scene play out and frankly, I was impressed by the guy's admance on behalf of "She."
Let me go back.
I've got a thing for men who get things done. See a problem, fix it. Don't see me in distress and look at me like "what are you going to do about it, D?"
I think men have been mislead. Someone's told them that they should do all this listening and empathisizng instead of doing what is in their nature and problem-solving. When I'm bitching and moaning about the way of the world, yes, listen. Then help me solve it. I'm really not just telling you for my health.
Many women will complain that they don't want a man swooping in from on man-high and telling them how to fix their lives. And yes, I concur, at times their man-step by step instructions can be very annoying. But if the alternative to them laying out what I shoud do is doing nothing when something's gone wrong, I'll accept that I can't have it both ways (men are simple. No really. They really can't switch on and off) and take a bass-filled Ten Step Plan anyday. (Men? Are you listening?)
Oh, and when something needs to be done, just do it. You don't have to ask me. Women confer and make group decisons. I promise I won't complain as long as the man takes on the mission and it is accomplished.
I turned to the guy in the deli and asked, "Is she your wife or your girlfriend?"
He was caught off guard. "My girlfriend," he said, taking a bit of ther bass out his voice.
I nodded. "She's a lucky woman." I didn't bother explaining what brought me to the conclusion.
He smiled. "Thanks."
(Note: men are complaining lately that no one compliments them. I try to do so randomly when they do good (yes, like superheroes.).
-B.