Kara heads to the couch with her laptop, her real man, and works ’til she passes out. Bay-be, what are you doing?
In the AM, Kara wakes up late—on the couch—and scrambles getting dressed, leaving her dude at the house to lock up after her. He reminds her that his bestie is in town and they have dinner plans that night. Watching a harried Kara, he offers to reschedule. She swears she can make it. Um… you sure?
Kara puts on her face in the car, and the bottle of prescription pills in her purse doesn’t go unnoticed.
I assumed Kara was late for work, but actually, there was a parent teacher conference that she missed. Her ex-husband is walking out of the school when Kara gets out of the car. “You couldn’t stall for me?” she asks. He reminds her that despite him sending a bunch of email reminders, she still showed up 20 minutes late. Womp.
Kara’s youngest isn’t so good at math and the teacher wants to have him tested for dyscalculia, dyslexia for numbers. Kara’s pissed. She isn’t trying to hear something is wrong with her kid, and she wonders how much testing is going to cost because she’s paying child support, the mortgage on the family house, rent on the condo she lives in and she helps her parents.
Whoo, chile. That’s a lot!
Kara has a bright idea: maybe the kids (and the dog) can stay with her for awhile so she can spend quality time with them, and help the babe with his homework since she is better at math.
Um… I love Kara. I do. But she told the God’s honest truth that time when she said she wasn’t fit to be a mom. She’s a good person. She is. But she doesn’t have the temperament for kids and all the other stuff she has going on. I respect that she’s trying to do better, but this is a bad idea.
Her ex points out that she always pulls this superwoman ish. “You missed a meeting, so what?” he says, trying to make her feel better (I think). This pushes Kara over the edge.
“It’s not fine for me anymore,” she says, dissolving into tears, then storming off. Oh, dear. She got a lot of guilt about not raising her kids.
Kara’s already had a long morning and she hasn’t even made it to the office. Finally at work, she’s still a mess, thinking she got off on the wrong floor. Before she gets to her desk, an assistant is updating her that MJ is on a warpath and she hits up her boo to pass on dinner because she has the kids.
Earlier, Mary Jane was back at her anchor desk as the producers tested out her face on screen. “All I see is scars,” the Big Boss says. I can’t see anything. She looks back to normal to me.
MJ catches Kara in the hallway, “greeting” her with “what the hell?” She’s mad Kara wasn’t there for her screen test. Kara reminds her that she had to be at her kid’s school. MJ is all, yeah, I know. Thought you would reschedule.
Um. Her kids > you.
Big Boss sidelined MJ for another week. Womp. MJ is freaking at, as usual.
MJ still doesn’t have a car, so a driver drops her off after work. Sorting through the mail she comes across a letter for Lisa. Aww, hell. Instead of opening it, she calls Cutty Buddy. He comes over in a hurry to offer Vitamin D.
Kara wakes up to the dog licking her face. Before she’s fully coherent, her teenage son is in her room yelling about “there’s nothing to eat!” Then he tells her the kid “peed the bed... again!” Then the dog chews on Kara’s good shoe.
Kara has been up all of 90 seconds and all the sh—she’s been through has made me tired and stressed watching her. I need a nap. Kara’s hysterical, screaming at her oldest about the dog, who she threatens to get rid of. The youngest hears this and runs out of the room distraught.
Aww, Lawd. I hope she’s on pressure meds. ‘Cause this? #toomuch
When both kids leave, Kara reaches in her bedside drawer for her pills. Um… I’m glad she has some, just hope she doesn’t abuse them.
Across town, Cutty Buddy is trying to stop the 6:30 AM alarm from going off. I’m sorry. Did Kara just go through all that sh—before 6:30AM? iCan’t.
MJ rushes into the room for her phone. Oh, Cutty Buddy is spending the night now? MJ is dressed to “run an errand”, so CB offers to bounce to the gym. She asks him to stay instead. This man has beautiful eyes. No, really. All of him is lovely, but his eyes are amazing.
Kara made breakfast and is apologizing to the kids for flipping out that morning and reminding them that she “loves them more than anything in the whole world.” She tells the kids that their dad is going to pick them up from school and bring them back to the house.
The kids ain’t feeling that idea they want to stay at “Dad’s house”. Kara corrects them: “That isn’t his house, it’s my house. I gave him that hou—“ She feels herself winding up and stops. She tells the kids to do whatever they planned to do after school by her.
Oh, and the oldest kid called his dad on Kara and said it was “an emergency” because Kara was freaking out. The kids start rough housing why she’s on the phone and knock over the lamp. It’s chaos. Dad offers to help, but Kara insists she has it.
CeCe is sitting on a park bench reading a book when a surly MJ walks up in her gym clothes to hand over 5k to CeCe.
“I hate what the Black man has done to the Black woman,” CeCe says. "Abandonment is the direct cause of our masculinity.”
It’s too early for this sh--. The direct cause of MJ’s “masculinity” this morning is being extorted by CeCe.
MJ: "Do you think about anything besides Black people and race?"
CeCe isn’t feeling MJ today, so she’s ready to head out, but not before offering condolences about Lisa. MJ ain’t here for that. “Shut up!” she tells CeCe. “You don’t have the right to talk about my friend’s life ever. This arrangement doesn’t afford you that luxury.”
Obviously and rightfully, she‘s sensitive about Lisa.
Kara’s headed into the office, texting her boo to apologize about missing dinner last night. She spots Marisol in a meeting with Big Boss telling him her big ideas. Kara asks for “a word.” In short: she tells Marisol she’s out of line for going behind her back and accuses her of sexing the boss on the low. Marisol’s big idea just cost them a feature segment for the next day’s show. No bueno. “I don’t like problems,” Kara reminds her.
Niecy’s there to get help with her resume, but has no work experience. MJ adds an mailroom internship at her job to Nicey’s resume. Niecy doesn’t know what that entails, but says she’ll watch Chris Rock in Boomerang to figure it out.LOL
Niecy: "When I do all that, can I get one of those in my pool?" (She’s referring to Cutty Buddy.)
MJ: "You gotta get a pool first."
Me: *snort laugh*
Kara’s home from work and her ex is chilling on the couch. The youngest tried to wait up for her but fell asleep, the oldest is getting his first kiss on the porch. Kara’s day isn’t done. She has to make brownies for the baby’s class tomorrow.
Really? After a long day of work? Brownies? Ex is like, why didn’t you just buy something? But Kara is on her Martha Stewart Superwoman ish and tired of being judged by the mothers of the kids in her son’s class.
She’s trying so hard. I’m exhausted watching her. Watching this episode is birth control.
She pauses to grab wine with ex-hubs who tells her she’s a great mom. She knows he’s lying. She wants to talk about the kid wetting the bed and the dyscalculia. “I’m a problem solver, I fix things,” Kara says. John tells her to get off the roller coaster.
MJ is getting her freak on… again. Look. I ain’t mad at this lady. I don’t know if CB has any money, but he is definitely a provider. And I get the craving for sex, especially in these circumstances. Experiencing death can give folks a craving for life, or the act of creating it. I grieve the same way.
CB finishes too soon for MJ and he reminds her that she can’t be mad. “Woman, you got yours twice. Let me get mine.”
Welp. He has a point.
He says he has to get some sleep, but before that, he wants to know how she is being as she’s been going through a lot lately. MJ says she is “fine.” I guess we’ve moved on from the eulogy last week.
She offers to get him a towel to avoid the conversation. In the bathroom, she spots Lisa’s name on her BC pills and gets stuck for a moment.
Back at Kara’s, she’s having some manic moment, baking brownines and researching her son’s disability and texting her book all at once. Unsurprisingly, the brownies burn.
At MJ’s there’s a knock on the door. It’s Kara, asking her after midnight to make brownies for her cause she doesn’t want to send the boy to school with store bought brownies. She left the kids home alone. MJ reacts like that is horrid. Is it? The oldest kid is about 14, 15. He can be left alone with the little one… um, right?
She’s lost it.Through sobs, Kara says, “I’ve been A student my whole life, and I‘m just a C student in everything in my life right now and I hate it.”
Look, I haven’t birthed any babies, but I have had that feeling on so many occasions and it’s devastating. Ugh. I just want to hug Kara. I feel you, boo. I do.
“I feel like I screwed up my life,” Kara says. “I’ve failed.”
Mara, stop writing my life!!!
No lie, I teared up. I have been there.
MJ is in the kitchen making brownies when Cutty Buddy walks up to taste the mix. He's staying over regularly now? Oh.
I don’t know how I feel about him yet. I like MJ around him. He mellows her out some and I like that he’s there because I don’t want her to be alone right now. But I would probably say that about anyone single and not David. I might even accept Shelton and his living across the street from each other fantasies at this point.
MJ shows up at Kara’s with fresh brownies. This is a nice side of MJ.
Niecy’s resume landed her an interview (yay!), which she showed up late for (boo!). Ugh! Come on, baby girl!!! Help yourself win!!! The interviewer is a little smug for my liking, but she’s not out of line.
Niecy doesn’t know the job interview rules so she doesn’t play by them. “Are you looking to hire me or not,” Niecy asks. “Because I feel like you judged me the moment I walked in here.”
Dammit Niecy. It’s what everyone has wanted to say at one job interview or another, but no one actually says that ish. Ughhh.
The interviewer admits that she’s not feeling Niecy because she was late. Niecy decides this is her cue to walk out of the interview. “I’m not late because I’m Black, it’s because I’m a mother,” Niecy says. “I hope you’ll still consider me for the job.”
Actually, I think she was late because she’s Niecy and she has a habit of being irresponsible. I’m just saying.
“You extorted me for a book store?” MJ accuses. “And you think I’m part of a dying industry?”
MJ asks CeCe why she didn’t ask for even more money because she clearly needs it.
CeCe: "Because that’s all I asked God for. Any more would be stealing."
MJ says she’s done paying. CeCe reminds MJ that she still hasn’t got the one thing that she wants: prime time. She knows that they’re giving her the run around at work and that she has the power to make her dream go away with a phone call to SNC
MJ: “You are no better than the slave master raping and stealing from Black people for their own personal gain in the name of Jesus. You’re a fraud!”
CeCe corrects her: ” I’m a survivor. I do whatever it takes to survive. You and I are similar in that way.”
At SNC, Kara’s boo rolls up to see her while she’s working late. She bailed on him again, it seems. She breaks up with him at some point. He says things are great, but she says that she needs to be more present for her kids and her relationship with him is getting in the way, so it’s a wrap. She does him in the backset of the car one last time, then goes home to her ex husband and tells him that she wants to move back in with him for the sake of the kids and to save money.
“So you want to be roommates?” he asks.
He says that he’s willing to do what she thinks is best, but his gut says it’s a terrible idea. Kara agrees, but she wants to be a better mother.
At MJ's Cutty says his penis is “broke. Not broke, but raw. It hurts.” She offers to get him some ice.
Niecy calls MJ while MJ is headed to the kitchen. Miraculously, she got the job and she’s starting with 20 hours a week and $7.00 an hour. It’s a start and it’s better than nothing .
In the kitchen. MJ spots the letter from Lisa and finally opens it. It’s an invite to an event Lisa was supposed to speak at in 2016. To the tune of one of may favorite songs, “Good Goodbye” by Lianne La Havas, MJ loses it, sliding to the floor and sobbing.
CB comes into the kitchen and joins her on the floor, holding her. Geez. I’m so glad he’s there.
Later, he’s sitting on the deck when MJ walks out post-nap, apologizing for her break down. He says there’s no need. “It’s a blessing I could be here for you.”
That line made my yelp. Out loud. Hubs just turned around and glared at me.
CB has whiskey and Cuban cigars chilling on the patio table. He explains that he was raised by his grandfather, who worked in a mortuary. Granddad said the only way to balance out so much death was to live. He would smoke a cigar and have a glass of whiskey every night. “He was the most peaceful, happy man, I knew,” CB says.
I think I like him now.
What did you think of Episode 4?