This morning, R. Kelly released a damn near 20-minute song called “I Admit” in which he, well, admits to various shortcomings and scandalous behavior, shares intimate details of his private life (including his finances), paints himself as a talented martyr persecuted by “haters”, lobbies for the city of Chicago to partner with him to inspire children (I am not making this up) and discusses damn near everything except the time he urinated on a child on video at the turn of the century. My overall takeaway: this n— is crazy AF.
Also, I hate R. Kelly. But I also just had an "A-ha! Moment" listening to this song. (They come at the oddest of times.) This man has zero shame. There's video of him pissing on a child that's been circulating for years, and he hasn't let that shameful sh-- deter him from doing whatever the f--- it is that he wants to do. He just denies it to himself, acts like it's not as bad as it is and keeps it moving. If not for a bum publishing deal and refusing to pay taxes, he'd probably be really wealthy. I mean, people still buy the music and go see the shows, even after THIS. That video of him urinating on a child came out nearly 20 years ago and he still puts out music and tours.
Folks will get ashamed and embarrassed, and shut down and hide off of far less. If you have not pissed on a child or done the scandalous equivalent, hold your head high in the world and go about like nothing happened. If R. Kelly can do it with that much illegal baggage, so can you. So. Can. You.
Anyway: here are the most interesting, takeaways, according to me, in the exact order that I thought them while listening to this long a— song:
Knowingly, willfully and repeatedly having sex with underage girls is not a “mistake”. What we won’t do today is brush off the sexual abuse of teenagers as a mere “imperfection”. Sir, you are raping rapist who has raped underage girls. If you’re gonna make admissions, admit that. You had a whole 19 minute song and the last damn near 30 years to reflect on this.
“People turned fake”? Or people wouldn’t stand by you after you peed on a child who was 14 and looked 11?
You f—ed you GFs best friend? I just want to know if she was of age.
Dear God! R. Kelly is appalled that you think he doesn’t respect women. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Please tell me exactly how I am supposed to think you respect women when I have seen you on video peeing on a child? Are we calling that respectful?
R. Kelly hasn’t seen his kids in years? Um… this is probably in the best interest of the children. Carry forth.
“I still got my fans, that’s a blessing….” Why the f— are people still supporting this man? WTF is wrong with you people?
Oh, wait. there’s a pause. Is this like a four part? [No.]
Kelly says he f—s with old and young ladies. He’s confused as to how he’s called a pedophile. If I wouldn’t catch a kiddie porn charge, I would Google the video of him urinating on a child and link to it as an "Exhibit A". That is why they call you a pedophile, Sir.
R-uh wonders if he is supposed to lose his career or go to jail “because of [our] opinion". Um.. Fact: You peed on a child. It’s on tape. The basement with the wood panelling in the child porn video is the same basement that was seen on the Vibe cover story that was shot in your basement. The man peeing on the child looked like you, sounded like you and moved like you. Issa duck!
This mofo really thinks he is a wrongly persecuted martyr.
R. Kelly doesn’t own any of his music. He signed all his publishing away.
Wait. Rewind. R. Kelly says he drank some Hennessey with Wendy Williams and they both turned off their phones. Oh, ok. It was just a conversation. He said he loved Aaliyah and he’s been set up.
He says he’s "a broke-ass legend". He says he never imagined “being the most disrespected artist”. Sir. You did this to yourself.
R. Kelly loves Steve Harvey. He wants Black women to be nicer to black men.
He says he was molested by a family member until he was 14 and that’s how he lost his virginity. I am genuinely sorry to hear this.
He says he is at rock bottom.
R. Kelly says he is underrated, has never been convicted of anything and Spotify was wrong, and that folks have “abandoned” him. Also, it’s absurd that he has abused women. Apparently, tales of him holding women hostage are greatly exaggerated.
R. Kelly has parenting advice, despite not seeing his kids in years: “don’t push your daughter in my face… and get mad when it don’t go your way.” N---a.
R. Kelly says he is human. He is not an ATM.
Pause. I’m at minute 10. I am exhausted by this bullsh--. This man thinks he is persecuted Black Jesus and everyone who thinks he’s a abuser or raper is a "hater". If you take out these parts, it’s a 4, maybe 5 minute song.
He wants to know the definition of a “cult” and “sex slave”. He says you can look it up in Webster’s and he’ll wait.
Sex slave isn’t actually in the dictionary as it’s a phrase. “Slave” is.
Someone read these definitions to Kelly as he also admits he can’t do so very well. He cites dyslexia.
Back to the admissions: he says he pulls hair and talks dirty and spanks. But that’s not abuse. In fairness, when this is done between consenting adults, it is not abuse. Is he only having the sex with consenting adults these days? Let us hope.
He loves Hugh Hefner. He doesn’t understand how HH gets love, but not him. Um… the PISSING ON CHILDREN!!!!! THE PISSING ON CHILDREN IS THE DIFFERENCE!!!!
Once again, Kelly says he wrongfully accused and social media is "the devil in disguise".
R. Kelly had hits but didn’t have money to put food on the table. He also didn’t pay taxes and owed the IRS $20 million.
He likes Henny. A lot, it seems. This is the second mention. The people who drink his liquor should be on Facebook defending his name. He is “a good brother”.
He is surrounded by “vultures”. He loves his fans.
He has given back to his community, which no one ever talks about.
He’s hitting high notes now.
He’s discussing his kids. He’s sorry for what they must hear about him. He says they must worry, but he’s ok. He wants his kids to believe in him, and know that he has told the truth.
Oooh. This is is starting to sound like a suicide "note". Someone male and over 35 go check on R. Kelly. I don’t want him to die. I want him to be arrested and prosecuted and found guilty and jailed for the sexual abuse of women and children. I want him to also receive therapy.
He has words for Chicago: “we gotta support our own”. His heart cries for the city because of the murders. The city should be using him to “help kids”. He says he could be “an inspiration”.
This [redacted n-word] is f—ing crazy. Who in their right mind is putting R, Kelly in the damn room with some kids?
He says his work “has nothing to do with his private life, so “stay the f—- out [his] business.” And all that ish that people say, they won’t say to his face. He’s going off about people who say “dumb sh—“. Like raging. LOUD. He’s back on the ‘poor, persecuted me’ ish. I can’t.
But, I am. For ya’ll. We’re almost done.
Kelly says he has lifted his voice and represented his country for 31 years.
How many of those years were you peeing on children?
No. I’m not letting it go.
Now, we're done.