After I wrote "They Do Exist" about the Black man who doesn't date Black women, I got a ton of e-mails and calls and IMs. I expected the women to get riled up. I didn't expect the men to get so passionate too. (Most began thier rants with “what the f*ck is wrong with this dude?”) One, a great friend, e-mailed me to ask, "why would you write about the worst representation of a Black man, D? He made us all look bad and the vast majority of us don't think that way. It's a whole lot of Black men who love Black women. Why don't you ever talk about them?"
So ladies (and gents) I went and found the love.
I asked a bunch of attractive (all), gainfully employed (all), college-educated (mostly), intelligent (100%), articulate, well-rounded, tall, mostly single, straight (all) Black men if they loved us and if so, why. My Inbox was flooded with responses. I took over a conversation at a friend's housewarming and guys had plenty to say on why they dig us so (along with blasting me for that post about He.) Random men on the street (yes, I asked strangers. “Why do you love black women?” is a great pick up line/ conversation starter, btw) couldn't stop talking about what is about us that just does it for them. And not one said a word about our booties and our hips and lips or anything else on the surface. They got deep, ya'll. (Apparently, they know how much we like it when they go deep. LOL!)
Here's what they said:
· "Of course, I love Black women. I think any man of any race who excludes Black women from his dating/marriage options are excluding some of the most beautiful, intelligent, supportive women in the world."
· "I love Black women because of their faces. They just have to give you one look and it's a whole conversation. You can tell when their happy, when you did something wrong, when she's feeling you, when you've gone too far. They get that from their mothers. If you have a black mother, you see her expressions on a Black woman's face. It's familiar."
· "Black women drive me crazy. But I love them. I LOVE THEM!!!They make a man work. Nothing's easy A Black woman will be feeling you but she makes you chase. Other women don't do that. A Black woman will want you and you'll know she's interested but she's gotta play the game. I hate the chase, but when she lets you catch her, she's yours. She'd ride-or-die. Nothing tops that. It makes the chase worthwhile."
· "I never thought about dating anyone else. I'm just not attracted. I love Black women's whole vibe. They just get 'it.' That and they're not corny. Other chicks can be real corny sometimes."
· "Because of their beauty, the pain we can relate to, the strength they have and their overall being. Just because."
· "Honesty, I don’t think sistas hear enough from Black men how much we love them. The reason I love Black women is because I have a Black mother. If it wasn’t for a Black woman… I wouldn’t be here. We've got to do better, find a way to praise Black women as half as much as we complain about them. Black women are looking for us as Black men to defend them. Not to talk about them as being gold-diggers, hoes, and b*tches along with the rest of society. We are supposed to be their defenders. That’s our damn job!"
· "I love Black women because I look at them and see me and my struggles, hopes and dreams in them unlike with any other race of women. Despite the cliche, the truth of the matter is that only a Black woman can understand truly what a Black man goes through and deals with. I love Black women because they come in a lot of sizes, shapes and colors from dark chocolate to light cream and everything else in between. I especially love Black women because my mother is Black and I luuuuuuvvvvvv my mama…and my grandmama!"
· "I have to give the Sisters credit when credit is due. The Sister’s hold it down any shape or form. There are a lot more Black sister’s out there that are about their money and won’t rely on a man to save their life. I won't never ever, ever date a white woman to the point I want to make her my wife. There’s too many beautiful, working, independent BLACK WOMEN. You got to be a strong Black man to be with a Black woman. Ya'll should be happy when men who aren't up to challenge look elsewhere."
· "They call it Home Sweet Home for a reason. No matter where you go in life, what journeys you take, there is nothing like home. Black women are my home."
· “A crown does not make a queen in my book but the way in which you carry yourself speaks volumes of your royalty. I have a symbol tattooed on my back that I read was branded on a prince the day he became king because it embodied all the qualities a king needed to lead. Those qualities were knowledge, courage, humility, and strength. I believe those four things are the foundation of what begins to make you as a black woman great. We strive as men to achieve those four attributes when by nature you as women are those four. A black woman is the personification of perfection. She is nurturing, passionate, firm, outspoken, devoted, sensual, sexual, loyal, supportive (sometimes too supportive to the point that we don't become anything other than a dreamer) but she makes you believe that dream can still come true when no one else believes it including you. I know what to expect from you because within you is all the things that makes me. You know my pain, because you lived it too. You know the struggle, because in your own way you went though it too. You know about "the man" because he's fucking with you too. When I walk in the door frustrated with my head down after a long day in this corporate white washed world saying they are starting to get to me I don't have to go any further because at one point they were getting to you too.
“I know this should be about all the things within that make you great, but the package is just as great as the gift inside and deserves its due. You are beautiful. The glow of your skin. The familiar caress of your touch. The warm welcome within all the hues of your eyes. The warmth of your smile and the pleasure it gives us when we make you laugh at our corny jokes as those beautiful white teeth explode from behind that sun kissed skin. Bodies that speaks of a future and by that I mean the curves on a black woman aren't there by accident that is generations upon generations of creating the perfect vessel to bring forth life. When we look at you we not only see our wives but also the mothers of our children. I love you.”