“It’s not stalking when you’re in love.”— “Baggage” contestant

This actually happened on "Baggage", but not on the episode I'm writing about today.  

I swore I wasn’t going to do recaps of “Baggage”. I swore. But you know what I do for a living, and I can’t not write about this episode. So I’ve taken to DVR-ing “Baggage”. That’s how serious is.

I promise to only write about the really good ones, like this one.

Okay. Really nice Black guy—tall, four degrees-- has to pick between three non-Black women. No problem, and as the show is taped in LA, no surprise.

His options are:

*a ditzy blond who shares popsicles with her dog (small) and demonstrated this on national TV. The look on the guy’s face was priceless. You know the look every Black person gives before they say “aww, hell no!” It was that. She was also a sugar mama to two younger men (medium). The guy called that “a fetish”.

He eliminated her after that one. And he was smart to do it. She looked to be under 30 and had been married 4x (big). She was on the show looking for Husband No. 5.

So now he’s left with:

*an uber cute and petite chick who looked to be Phillipino and likes to bite during sex (small), likes to eat her peeled skin (medium) and once moved to another state to stalk her ex. Explanation: “It’s not stalking when you’re in love.” Oh, and she lives with her best friend who is her ex-boyfriend and Chipotle is the food that puts her “in the mood”.

*a brolic white chick who aims to hit skunks when she drives because she likes the smell (small). She spends $1000—yes, one thousand—a month on lottery tickets (medium). And she chews and spits tobacco. She revealed she had some in her mouth while taping and showed the audience. Last but not least, pasta is her aphrodisiac and she likes to be spanked.


The producers have to be making this up.

So QT Black guy goes with the biter-stalker. But will she take him when she learns his baggage?

He reveals he  had sex with his therapist. Explanation: he has insomnia, sought professional help and she was hot, soo...

She did not accept his baggage.


Guys, who would you have chosen?  If you were a guy (or are a lady who dates ladies), who would you have picked?