Hey Honeys!

I am headed to DC for CBC weekend. I have absolutely nothing to do with politics beyond being the offspring of a man who lives it. I am going strictly for the parties. Even before I discovered that our Nation's Capital is also a big party city, this was always a HUGE weekend. It's when the black political industry decides to celebrate itself and goes all out with fashion shows, concerts, and straight throwdowns. The only weekend that tops this in the city is Howard's Homecoming if you went to an HBCU. (Sidenote: Boo to HU, who is conveniently sharing its homecoming weekend with my alma mater this year, thus completely overshadowing any UMCP events.)

Anyway, as I've been preparing to travel and tie-up loose NY ends before my weekend departure, I haven't had time to edit a new blog (at any given time, I have 5 or so in production, but I don't clean em up till right before I post.) So today, you get your first guest.

She's been mentioned before a few times on here--not a regular like Penelope, Ace, and Tariq--but she pops up under a pseudonym (like everyone else). She's a hilarious BK-by- way-of-Cali-girl (but not the stereotype) and super insightful without even trying. Over a sushi dinner in BK on Saturday, she summed me up as "that girl." The one who lives in a bubble (mostly true) and often fails to notice the subtly obvious until it's blatant. She has a totally different perspective on life than me and is 2x the socialite that I am. Oh, and she's also a dope writer.

We were Uptown one night with the DC-in-NY crew at Society and she mentioned this very new term: RELATIONALS. (I mentioned it in the last blog.) I insisted she write about it. The world needs this PSA.

Here goes:

dunno what this blog is going to be called but my girl amelda said i should write one after our conversations last night…so here goes na-than

RELATIONALS: after teaching a couple of my DC buddies how to play bones and scream out “DOMINO MU’FUCKA!!!” like on Snoop’s first record–Cali style-E of course–we got into a convo about relationships…or lack thereof. knew it was gonna happen, with 3 chics and 3 dudes, nobody was dating, everybody just friends. you know how that goes…

FIRST: you’re prolly like what the fuck is a relational…comically, my boy and I had a conversation earlier this year about folks that are in undefined situations (read: relationships) and because no one’s ever made the situation exclusive it can’t be an “official relationship” BUT you’re dealing with each other like bf or gf? THAT’S a relational.

RELATIONAL CHECKLIST: if these joints apply to you-watch yo back!

1) you’ve been dating and/or sleeping with this person steady for longer than 5-6 months with no commitment

2) when they page or call you, you hit them back quickly because “you don’t want to hear their mouth” or you don’t hit them purposely to punish them for something they’ve done

3) when you use the bathroom at their apartment, you have your own towel, toothbrush and/or soap

4) you guys have arguments about little things like him/her wearing shoes in your shoe-less apartment, dirty dishes or hair in the shower because you’ve had to tell them one too many times

5) you guys routinely spend time together a couple times a week and when the QT doesn’t happen, someone has to explain

6) songs like Plies’ “shawty,” 50’s “Follow My Lead,” John Legend’s “Another Again” or any other “I really like you but we’re not together” tracks remind you of that person

7) your friends know you’re together but NOT together

8) you’ve ever had to say, “I’m sorry” for some shit that prolly wasn’t your fault to keep the peace if more than three of these predicaments apply to you, then you might want to either lock that situation down, or move on because-take it from me-that joint could go on for YEARSSSSSSSS, lol…

LIKE BLACKSHEEP-THE CHOICE IS YOURS: now the men in last night’s convo brought up a good point, saying people only treat you how you let them treat you. and if women folk allow the men folk to get away with “relationals” (not to say that chics aren’t instigating relationals too, we do) then we’re enablers. and i had to agree. you know when you’re in some dead end situation that’s never going to mature for whatever reason. like keyshia cole- “you need to get if he ain’t gonna love you the right way–he don’t wanna.” and alot of us ladies like/love the dude so much, that we’ll take their presence in any wack ass form…but FUCK THAAAAAAAAAAAT. move on, or else you’ll most likely miss the person that WILL take off their shoes in your apartment, wash the dishes and keep the shower clean.

If you want to more insight on her, check out her other MySpace blogs at