Learn to Swallow?

I was riding in the car w/ Patent, Penelope, and Pimpin one night during the summer. Penelope had just recounted a story of love and loss and while I did my girl-friend sympathizing duty, Patent took another approach.

''Learn to swallow,'' he told Penelope. ''It’ll keep your man happy and at home. No man will leave his woman if she swallows.''

The phrase 'learn to swallow' became sort of a running joke amongst my summer crew. Every time a woman complained about heartbreak or a cheating fool of a boyfriend or a decent man who just wasn't showing any act right, this was the laughed out advice we started to give. (Note: for women simply looking for a man, we did not advise this. Concensus holds that swallowing can help a woman keep a man she's got, but will not help her get a man she doesn't have.)

I took the phrase for the joke that it was until one night I realized Patent was dead serious.

READ THE REST in  A BELLE IN BROOKLYN: The Go-to Guide for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. ON SALE NOW