How soon is too soon?

So if you follow me on Twitter (@abelleinbk), you know I’m sick. Called out of work and everything, which i you know me, you know I only do when I'm on death bed status. I hate sitting at home. The only thing I can do is lay on this couch and sleep, or type, and check the Internet. That would be how I stumbled about the idea for today’s post. So I’m over on YBF for the like the tenth time today and there are pics of Shaunie O’Neal and a new sexy boo. Ok. They’re in an airport headed back from a Maui vacay. She’s leaning on him like she’s tired. Real cute. She filed for divorce from Shaq in November, did The Magazine last month letting out some of their private biz to promote her new show, and the marriage will be officially over any second now. (note: she’s still married.)

Surprisingly, the reaction was very positive. A lot of “do you, Sister!” feelings. More than a few people noted the hypocrisy, pointing out that Gabrielle Union. Fantasia, and Alicia Keys have been vilified for dating men before the divorce was final.

“Shaunie and Shaq’s divorce isn’t final but it’s a celebration because she moved on with this fake model dude that’s using her for publicity. But some of these same folks dogged the hell out of Alicia and Swiss; and Fantasia and her man.”

There were another few who thought she was rushing things by moving on so soon:

“Shaunie should have waited until her divorce was final…her children are looking on. I don’t know what her relationship is with this man but she should have given herself time to heal. So when this relationship dissolves she going to go find another, and another…"


I recalled that yesterday there was a post about Kelis and her new boo, as well. Seems she was spotted all over greater Miami with Sanaa Lathan’s ex Chicago Bear Wale Ogunleye. Ok.

A quick timeline of the Kelis/ Nas demise:

Rapper Kelis filed for a divorce from husband Nas in April of 2009, citing irreconcilable differences. On July 23rd, she was awarded around $40,000 a month from Nas for spousal and child support along with the mortgage for their Los Angeles home. Kelis, who gave birth to the couple's son on July 22nd, was also awarded funds for the "baby's nurse, prenatal expenses and medical insurance."In December2009, Nas was ordered to increase monthly support to $51,101, but he will no longer have to pay for the monthly expenses of their Los Angeles home, where Kelis has been living with the couple's son.6

So Kelis’ son is eight months old and it appears the couple’s divorce was final in December, four months ago.

The commenters went in on Kelis. I mean, innnnn.

“No sense in letting the cooch heal up after popping out someone else’s baby….”

“Her child ain’t even a year old and she already in a open public relationship…she ain’t even let the ink dry on the divorce documents and she already onto the next!”

“These females don’t waste no time jumping to the next guy. That’s why they usually go from one failed relationship to another. Especially when you have a kid, a new baby at that…you need to slow down.”


Not so many felt the way I do, which is when it’s over. It’s over. Do what you want… the next day. Hell, that afternoon.  I’d rather see a woman move on quickly than dwell on forever, say like Mashonda (note: I respected her fighting for her marriage, but when it was clear he wasn’t coming back, it just seemed sad.)

The reaction in support of Kelis, who is divorced, moving on:

“Men have a new chick in their bed as soon as they pull out of the driveway with their car/van/ moving truck full of their ish. Most men dont wait.”

“So, as long as the Kelis is handling her business & that baby is taken care of there is NOTHING wrong with her dating.

“It is very hard to adjust after being married (u are used to sex on the regular, used to companionship, etc). It is a natural response for u to miss that & to want to have it again.

“Ppl are wrong when they’re separated for dating, when they are divorced they are still wrong. So how long is enough time since these bible thumping bloggers make up the rules of how other grown ppl should live their lives?”


How’s it okay for still married Shaunie to move on, but not divorced Kelis?  Is it because Kelis had a kid eight months ago? Or because it’s believed that she wrecked her marriage and then took Nas to the bank?

And back to the original question, how soon is too soon to move on, anyway? Should you have to wait for the divorce to be final? Should you wait six months before getting back into “the game” again?

What say you, Bellionaires?  What say, you?