Essence: Confronting the Other Woman

Last week's episode of La La's Full Court Life threw me for a loop. I became addicted to the show last season because La La Vasquez-Anthony was a different type of Black woman on reality TV: family-oriented and confident. And though she was very much a basketball wife, she wasn't resting on her husband's laurels. She was a wife and a mother still chasing her professional dreams, and I loved watching her drama-free shine. On the season 2 premiere, though, the show seemed to be upping the conflict factor.  La La called a sit-down with the assistant she had selected to work with her husband, New York Knick Carmelo Anthony. La La asked her if she was sexing him. The answer was a firm “no.”

The encounter stemmed from a conversation La La had with a male friend who questioned La La on whether it was prudent to have such a beauty working with her man, implying that late nights on the road would lead to a more than professional relationship between the two of them. Once that seed was planted, La La’s confidence in her marriage took a hit. The next time La saw her hubby, his assistant in tow, she threw shade at the assistant and kept a close eye on her man.

I sort of get it. The most confident of women have their insecure days. But it was the confrontation that had me saying "Oh, no!" at the screen. I literally cringed.

On two occasions, I’ve received calls from women asking me about the nature of my relationship with their men. One was a wife wondering how my number got in her husband’s phone. She was polite and although I immediately decided she was a nutcase, I put her at ease when I explained he was a friend from college who I ran into when visiting my hometown one weekend. The other was a belligerent woman ringing my phone too early on a Saturday morning demanding to know if her man was visiting me in New York. He wasn’t and I had never spoken to him beyond our initial contact exchange, but I hung up without telling her that. Both times, I marveled at their boldness and wondered why they were calling me and not their men. (Then I contacted the guys to let them know that they were with crazy ladies, in case they were unaware. I added that they should delete my number for their own use as well.)

I'll be the first to say that if you have a question, ask. No sense in assuming or denying while driving yourself crazy. But it was whom La La, and the ladies who called my home, asked, not what.

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