Are men with certain occupations prone to cheat?
Back in August, I wrote a story for The Magazine, “Who Wants to Marry A Millionaire?” featuring five Black seven-figure earners. There was a CEO of a security firm, a producer, an NFL Player, a former MLB player and now a corporate exec, and an IT professional who had government contracts.
The mail poured in- most of it positive, especially since the men’s emails were listed. There was also some not so positive mail that accused me of insinuating Black women were gold-diggers (um, it's okay to like a wealthy man and get to know one as long as 1) you ain't solely after his money; and 2) you genuinely like the guy.) And then there were the women who were pissed that I'd recommend men of certain professions.
One lovely "woman" Kim Johnson of Ontario, Canada looked my name up and emailed me [a 500 word rant] at my Belle account (which I do not respond to work questions from).
An excerpt from Ms. Johnson:
This year's list was so disappointing. Yes, we would all like to marry someone who is financially established. But an NFL player? Do the words 'NFL' and 'faithful' go together? The music producer - there's another industry that glorifies casual sex and one night stands. And he wants to marry one of us? RIIIIGHT.
What happened to the lists with men who weren't craving the spotlight (or in it)? What happened to the everyday dude who has a nice smile, a decent job and looking for love?
Or did [The Magazine] *demand* that you write an article with multi-millionaire 'single' brothers (when a few of them aren't)?
I know we're in a recession and many writers will take whatever they can get. But to write an article that perpetuates the myth that Black women are the g-word (gold-diggers) was a shame. A letdown.
The NFL player, I can’t speak for. He was cool. I don’t know him-know him to vouch on him.
The producer though? He writes love songs for a living and is about the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet. He is/ was seriously looking for a lady to WIFE not just hump around with.
I meant to write on this topic then... But I couldn't figure out if I was pissy about her e-mail, which came thru on my BelleBerry while I was partying on the W rooftop at CBC and I didn't want to give credence to crazy with an immediate (and pissed off) response. [Honest moment: I was also annoyed 1) that I often go above and beyond to avoid mentioning my job on here so I won't be bothered about The Magazine business and 2) that she took the time to look me up, but not the time to figure out where I worked. I mean if you’re gonna be ballsy enough to blast someone, know of what you speak, you know?]
I thought about this idea again when I was flipping through the new Giant, the one with Paula Patton on the cover being proclaimed the next Halle Berry (um.. Is that a compliment?) Anyway, there's a brief roundtable of baller wives/fiancees discussing infidelity (this came about because of the Steve McNair drama). In that brief roundtable, I found this gem:
GIANT: Do 100% of athletes cheat?
Evelyn Lozada (financee of Antoine Walker): Not quite [laughing] like 92%. I’m just saying what I’ve seen
[Belle note: I was baffled to understand why she was engaged to one then. Like, does she think he's in the 8% or does she not care?]
Samantha Telfair, wife of Sebastian Telfair: But I think 92% of all men cheat.
Mercedes Cotchery, wife of Jerricho Cotchery: I thought they all cheated, but then I married my husband and don’t think that anymore.
Marci Mason, wife of Derrick Mason: When he’s out of your sight, you don’t know what he’s doing.
Cotchery: I know where he is.
Mason: You know what he tells you.
Hmmm. Perhaps I'm naïve. I don't think all men cheat. (Essence did a survey of 5K+ men once. 60% confessed to cheating.) I do think most people— men and women— do cheat on some level (emotional is as bad as physical minus the health risks). And like Telflair, I don't think a profession or even the amount of money a man makes him more determined to cheat on his wife. If you’re the cheating kind, you are, and that’s whether you’re pushing on the block, pushing a mail cart, pushing a tricked out Escalade, or your account has pushed past seven figures.
The guy on fries may not pull the same beauty/education “caliber” of women, but he’s still getting it thrown at him. Daily. So is the minister, the accountant, the mailman, the personal trainer, the senior high school/college student, the pharmaceutical sales dude, the lawyer, doctor, the guy in the mailroom, and the dude on the block. Oh, and the dude without a job, be it legal or “otherside of the game. Cheating or having the pum pum thrown at a man, isn't about his career choice or the money he earns, or even the number of women he encounters.
Nor, for that matter, is any of that — profession, money, perks— the core reason behind some women’s willingness to stick around with a cheater. We all know women— hell, you might be one— who’ve stayed with a cheating dude who never provided more than hard- D and bubble gum, much less a vacation for you and the girls, a leased whip, or a down payment on anything.
So what say you, Belleionaires? Does your profession make you cheat? Are you more likely to whore as an athlete or producer, as Johnson suggests? Or is it all equal across the board.
And if there are professions where men are more likely to cheat, which are the ones in which they’re more likely not to?
Don’t say priest.