I need a new pair of glasses. I don't have 20/20 vision. I can see people and things well enough from a distance, but the details sometimes miss me. Most of the time, I prefer to live in my own soft edges bubble. Sometimes, I need to see clearly.
Once per year, I look at someone that I see repeatedly and think, ''when the hell did that happen?" Somehow I have encountered the man 2-3 times per week for the better part of many seasons, acknowledged that he was attractive and likable and articulate but never gotten around to liking him. I hear women complain again and again that there are no good men left. No, if you’re like me, we've become man-blind. Date-able men are everywhere if we just pay attention to the details.
It was the case last year that I was introduced to a young man who had recently entered the "industry." He was tall, cute, but at 22 and fresh out of the South, he was totally off my radar because 1) we'll inevitably work together someday; and 2) I'm six years his senior. I began to see him frequently on my adventures in the city and he was always warm and polite and witty. In a month's time, we went from smiling hello across rooms, to double cheek kisses, to grand hugs whenever we encountered each other.
He went on hiatus for winter as many frequent party attendees tend to do in preparation for the flurry of events that occur in late spring and summer. Only a monumental event or a dope album brings hibernators out. It took me six weeks to realize I hadn't seen him. And another 2 to realize I missed him. I chalked it up to a big sister/ little brother thing though I'd never thought of him as such. He was 22 but more mature than most almost 28 year olds I've met.
It was the case last month that there was a dope album released for an artist I love. At the listening, I saw his crew, but not him. I inquired of his friends and was told he was in the building somewhere making the rounds. I actually went looking for him. My search was in vain. No 22. I even sent him a text asking where he was hiding. 5 minutes later, no response.
I'd given up on finding him and was outside the venue with friends trying to figure out what party was next when he appeared from nowhere. He seemed taller, broader. The man glowed.
I attacked him with a bear hug and he returned the sentiment. I had no idea why I was so happy to see him. Was it his absence making me grow fonder? Was it because it was almost Spring and everyone looks better in decent weather? I dunno. I hugged him again just because I felt like it. I pouted--yes, pouted-- and asked why he didn't text me back.
He swore he didn't get it. "Don't I always hit you back?" he asked.
Why did I care? Why did I keep hugging him? Why in the hell was I pouting at 22? And that's when I realized I must be wearing the glasses that give me perfect man-vision. No more bubble and soft edges; the details were clear. And I have a crush on a 22 year old. Ha!
*Before you even ask, I will NEVER act on this. I don't date in my industry.